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Fear of Change.

Still the same as always.

28 May 1986
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I've read through LotR's four times, The Silmarillion and The Unfinished Tales once, and The Hobbit countless times until I can recite certain paragraphs (and I did, for a speech). I've got all the lovely LotR's extendeds and love to watch the commentaries. All the way through. Diehard, me.

I love Harry Potter to the point where I've lost count the amount of times I've read four of the books, though I can tell you that I only got through the fifth once-- I haven't had a chance or desire (though reading LoTR's and then school) to read through it twice. Although I did start on the second one. I own all the movies, although comparing LotRs to HP and their adaptations to the Big Screen, HP pales considerably. The third one does a little better in incorporating my favorite parts of book three. My favorites are the third and sixth book. Snape is my favorite character, closely followed by Dumbledore.

I'm a Trekkie, although until recently I was loathe to admit it. I don't know if it's because I've been watching Star Trek (TNG, I can't stand TOS) since I was probably about five and it's nostalgia, or if I'm simply insanely interested in the idea that there are other worlds aside from ours. I once stopped while walking down the sidewalk one night and looked up, and shook my head. It's really a pity if the earth is it, if there is nothing else to explore and discover more intelligent than a bacteria, if there are no new peoples to meet. I felt really alone at that moment, realizing that from all current scientific evidence, we are completely alone. And yet, how selfish.

When I saw the last Star Trek: Next Generation movie, I bawled and bawled at the end, which I sort of attribute more to the nostalgia than the love of the movie, since I can watch Matrix over and over, and watch people die, and not feel incredibly awful. Although, again, having memorized every episode and every nuance of the character that's gone just sort of joggled me. Ah, and following that is the fact that I've never had anyone very close to me die, either.

I'm also a fan of the Vorkosigan series by Lois McMaster Bujold, and a HUGE fan of Serenity and Firefly. Go rent Serenity right now.

I'm currently attending Indiana State University as a master's student. I'm specializing in bat feeding ecology in the biology department. This means lots and lots of fecal analysis! But hey, it's fun, and if you liked owl pellet stuff when you were in middle school it's very similar. I think it's fascinating to see what's in there, and since bats are so tiny it doesn't smell at all. After I get my degree, I don't know. I might get a PhD, depends on how much enthusiasm I have for continuing my education. If this plan doesn't work out, I plan on becoming a writer of stories. I really enjoy using words and playing with words and find them, in the right places, absolutely beautiful.

One of my favorite beginnings from a story in a book that no one's ever heard of but me is:

"Snakes for some, spiders for others. Or the dark: black cold pitch, full of secrets. Or being high up: dizzy, eyes screwed shut against the drop. There are those for whom it is small rooms, no windows, the walls squeezing out the air. For some it is vast open spaces, endless horizons, the heart thumping to find home. The list goes on and on. All of us are frightened of something. Bats, bulls, beards, blood, buttons, slugs, cobwebs, crabs, caterpillars, cellars, fire, water, lightning, thunder-- any of these can start the cold prickly sweat, the heart stop, the shiver, and the shudder. And the only remedy for a bad case of the shudders is to tell yourself the story of the boy who set forth to learn what fear was."

(Although actually you can buy the series on DVD that used the stories in this book. It's called Jim Henson's Storyteller.)


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